Could be the last!

2pm.Today, just like any other normal day of our lives, could be the last day of mine. My biggest fears of flying in an airplane keep coming to my mind with every minute that brings me closer to my time to leave for Orlando, FL. Yeh Im afraid! but just a little haha. I do not FEEL as if it is my time to go though, which is good. I feel like there would be some message from above if anything was ever going to happen...at least id pray. But who would want to know when there gonna go? I guess we should just do like the song says. Live like were dying!

Just in case!: I love you mom! I love you dad! I love you sophia! I love you crystal! I love you scooby! I love you cocoa! I love you rocket! I love you marina,dana, heather, jessica, cindy, tricia! haha!

Ok now that I got that out of my system I feel better! woot!

So im sitting here at borders again, which seems like its going to be my place of thought for the next few months until I find a new even better place to type my thoughts...probably under a tree in the summer, or on the ocean city beach! That sounds nice :) I like that thought, so im gonna put my fingers together, take two deep breaths, close my eyes, and bam! any uneasiness is now leaving my body! It kind of feels like letting all the tension go in your body to find a calm happy center, and then anchoring yourself to just that feeling, and moving from there( with still that feeling)

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So one day I'd like to publish a book. A book with my thoughts, my findings on life, hypnosis, music, love, anything I could write down that would help my future generation know a little bit more then I know.

On that thought

PAY ATTENTION IN SCHOOL!
STUDY YOUR NOTES
READ THE TEXTBOOK
STUDY DAYS BEFORE YOUR EXAM
SIT IN THE FRONT AND CENTER OF THE CLASS
MAKE FRIENDS WITH YOUR TEACHER LIKE YOU WOULD A FRIEND
DO NOT EVER CHEAT-bad idea beleive me! and its not worth it, and it comes back to haunt daydreams and such..

ok thats good for now, Ill give you more if I think of any!

So everyday Ive been trying to keep myself mentally active, to make sure that I stay sharp! I go to borders and read, or Ive been reading a book by dale carnegie, how to win friends and influence people. Ive also been playing guitar a good amount, and hanging out with my friends Josh, dan,emily, and tricia.

O how I miss jessica
O how I miss the connection we shared
the playfulness of our conversations
going through a full day with a british accent
which other people beleived!
but we new the truth.
Its like we shared a secret bubble
like we both spoke the same language for once

but
she lives so far away,
and I beleive the pain
of waiting for her
ruined it in my mind
our relationship
I felt lonely
i was scared
she was out of my league
maybe
it just wasnt the right time
for us
maybe in another year
when shes home
maybe then

maybe not

Where do you see yourself in five years?
I dont know. For some reason I havent yet developed my thoughts to think into the future and literally see myself in five years. Its hard for me to picture these things when the question seems illogical. It should be worded, where do you imagine/wish to see yourself in five years..
In that case I wish/imagine myself to be swimming in pile of gold coins like the one donald duck had in that room of his house. Or maybe playing guitar/ writing songs with some of the greats of my time. They are no different then me, we are all human. If they can do it so can I. Maybe in five years I'll have a hit song! that would be cool. Or maybe in five years I'll have won the lottery! wooooooot! that would be great. ok ok ok enough of that for now.

Sometimes when I think of psychological disorders, after bringing to my attention my past few times when something out of the ordinary happened, I wonder if maybe I "have" alot of different psycological disorders....but Id like to think of them as psychological advantages. I see myself as above the regualar individuals of my world. But at the same time, knowing that that was just a thought, I feel the same.
Sometimes I have felt above the moment.
Sometimes my thoughts race
sometimes my thoughts are answers
to questions Ive been asking all my life
but sometimes others like to shut me down
until im as quiet as a stone under a shoe
the challenge is to remain strong
to remain kind, curteous, friendly
and not get "angry" blah blah blah
Id like to think of the past times
my parents said I was being angry
that they are wrong, because they were wrong
I wasnt being angry.
I was trying to show them the difference between negative and positive
tonality,
body language
its not fair,
the only thing that was different was my tonality
I was thinking faster
my thoughts seemed more together
even looking back on it, I can see what I was trying to achieve
and my words to describe it is
a hightened level of consciousness in my family.

It was like I was there
heaven on earth
yet, Id look around and see
"all your sympathetic eyes"

last time I did mushrooms
it was if peoples faces were coming out of there face
=) ))))))))
I looked at them and there face looked like it was trying to reach out to me

I used to think the people around me were always trying to contact me
like when you think about it
where does an idea come from.
most of the time it is your surroundings and the people around you, words and sayings you hear create thoughts in my head.

Having A little childs look on life.
is like staying young at heart.
Its interesting to note that a childs world is always changing in their minds. Every day they wake up and learn something new: about themselves, about the world they live in, I wonder if there is a system I can create to mold/ create a childs mind to super effective. Can I create a super child? sounds ridiculous now, but maybe as I grow older I will learn new ways to keep young and when I have a child someday ill make sure that they learn instruments at an early age! and understand music theory, piano, guitar, bass, drums, anything they want!

everyday Ill try and remember to sing when Im at home and around my children. Creating a peaceful enviornment for my children. Maybe make a song a day with my childs words that they say. That could reinforce the words they know, and everyday I could teach them a new word by putting it in a song.hmmm

Zoneing off. Whats the point. Sometimes I notice myself looking off into the distance at basically nothing, and it feels like I am unaware of things. la la la

Ask a question. and then refine their answers to a few choices.
IE: What's your tastE?
Lively? rich? bold? at seattles best coffee we smooth roast three different styles of coffee to give you the right coffee tast for any time of the day, any time of the year. So whether you prefer the clean, balanced finish of seattles best blend, the richness of henrys blend, or the powerful full body of breakfast blend, theres always a coffee just for you at seattles best coffee.

First Id like to note the name of the coffee. Seattles BEST coffee...LOL! right off the back is a suggestion to the consumer that you are having the best coffee. another thought is that they said three choices in the beginning and then emphasized three of their own coffee brands at the end. hmm. kind of interesting but not really. More on this at a later time.

Lets bring my atention to go to this girl in the black sitting at a table a few feet away from me.Shes cute. Looks like shes doing her work or homework for a class. possibly a student. Her outfit suggests she could be a hostess or a waiter at a restuarant, or work at an office. But whats interesting is I will never know untill I sit down and have a conversation with her. la la la

Sooo music!
love it, makes me feel good.
I plan on writing many songs about my adventures this week in my upcoming blogs so please stay tuned and thank you for reading my thoughts!

God bless you all, and live laugh peace and love!
todays song in my head will be Fly me to the moon-frank sinatra