12.17.2010 pt 1

yup
tomorrows the day
the day of my test
A & P
heading towards
a choice descision
I made in the summer
was it to just stay home?
to have a place to live
without hassle and worrying of
the responsibility
it takes to handle my own apartment

looking around
again and again
like checking the fridge for food
over and over
but havent gone shopping
same things are still there

like looking at a picture
deeper and deeper
maybe there is something youve missed
maybe this time will be different
noticing some sort of pattern
life is here
focused thought
focused doing
everything im doing now
im in control of
and so is everyone else
if something were to happen
people would react as if theyve been trained
by all their experiences from this point back
if none of those things worked
then they would cry out
this is impossible!
you are difficult
here come the names

questioning everything
are you really yourself?
or are you just someone Ive made you into
unintentionally
youve fallen into trap
that youve set up
tomorrow will be different
you think tomorrow ill feel that way again
the love we felt when we first met
the patience I had with you
a fast paced thing
i was quick to jump
quick to act
quick to say
quick to opionate
my ways the right way
but we all think we're right
in our own time


should i be ashamed of my thoughts?
no
should i be locked away why you flurish with ideas and movement and life?
no
these things being correct
i will feel open again soon
soon is now
now is now
then is then
now is then is soon
deeply aware
of movements

being awake
eyes open
hearing on
motion detecting on
on and always will be

your wish list fulfilled
in red
red to be some sort of attraction thing













hypnosis!
what a wonderful IDEA
the concept that I will talk
and You will listen
doing what ever I tell you
because any other way is not going with the flow
what? you have your own state of mind?
what? you have your own feelings about what Im saying?
impossible!
your hypnotized!
yet still awake
still thinking for yourself
just momentairly
at your weakest
least guarded state of mind
interrupted by another
like being caught naked by a gunman
now your forced to do everything the say
and feel vulnerable
kind of like that
yet maybe not that picture
more like.. your here
and your going to do what i say
and if you dont
then your not going
"with the flow"

how to get my music into others mind
and unconsious mind?

people love to hear about things that make them happy
take them away
people are very visual
words have to be colorful
words have to have meaning
must be said with emotion
must be real
fakeness will come off fake
unreal
like a big lie
your trying to convince someone of something that isnt going to work

song:

something about waking up
for the first time
you are hear
weve never met
but we see eachother from far
and feel the same
mirroring?
following instruction?
great with energy?>
remembering today?>
really living
today
really being inspired
what really inspires me?
life love happiness
hypnosis
juggling
presentation
thought deepness
depth
of a pictrue
of a quality
of an emotion
pauses
how fast quickly
deeply I am put aside
lost in the world of the perso I am veiwing
how fast I was taken away

with these words
im picking you up off the ground
and we are going far away
you dont know where im taking you
but soon your eyes will be open
you will be here


like laying n the train tracks
next moment back in body
sojmewhere else
soemthings not right
ive lost my sense of imagination
i cant be myself
something holding me back
something that youve said
not physically
metaphysically
locked
with words
cemented to the ground

they tried to shut me down
their feet cememnted to the ground
they clipped my wings with words
as I began to fly.

be back-taking a break :)